Untuk kalian-kalian yang ku sayang

lately ni xtau la..terasa rindu menyelubungi diri ini...rindu arwah, rindu my family, rnd abg (my dearest abg Rizwan Abdullah)...banyak sangat ke rindu dalam diri ni? tertanya gak..rasa tu mengebu2 (cm kueh apam) rasa penuh je diri ni..dada ni pn rs sesak je ngn rindu ni..orang2 yg aku penah rindu dlu xde lak..cume mereka2 ni la yg ada dlm diri aku sekarang..rindu sampai terasa nak mengalirkan air mata..xtertahan rasa nye ble ingt rindu ni..aku tersangat la confuse ngn diri ni..kenapa rasa rindu ni mengebu2? aku rindu mereka takala aku bekerja..aku rindu mereka takala seusai nye solat..aku rindu mereka takala mahu solat..aku rindu mereka tika berjalan..aku rindu mereka tika menonton..aku rindu mereka..ahh yang pasti aku rindu xkira masa..xkira waktu..xkira tempat...malah aku rindu mereka tika mata ku mahu lelap berlayar ke alam mimpi...

terkadang aku terasa sayu mengenang mereka..aku mahu ketemu mereka..aku rindu...terasa mahu memeluk insan2 yang aku rindu..mengapa??mengapa aku rasa begini? apakah maksud nya? aku binggung..aku keliru..bukan aku tidak pernah memikirkan sebab nya...pernah..malahan sering kali aku fikirkan nya...aku mahu ada di sisi mereka2 ini...mahu rasa kehadiran mereka2 ini..mahu lihat keletah mereka...aku mahu ada di dalam dakapan mereka...aku sayang mereka..sayang yang teramat sgt2...mereka tunggak aku berdiri...mereka kekuatan ku...memikirkan mereka, aku kuat berdiri..

kt masing2 ada cerita da ceritera masing2...kt masing2 ada beban dan masalah sendiri..aku tidak mahu menjadi beban..aku mahu menjadi peringan beban kalian2 yang aku sayang...aku mahu lihat senyum tawa gelak kalian..tp tidak sekali2 tangis sedih mu..kerana aku jua merasa kesakitan sedih kalian...seboleh mungkin aku mahu mengukir senyum dan tawa di bibir kalian...

ahh kalian, aku rindu...semakin rindu pada kalian...aku mahu mendakap kalian sepuas hati ku..aku ingin berada dalam lingkungan kasih dan sayang kalian...aku sayang kalian semua...maaf aku tidak dapat menahan air mata kerinduan ku dari gugur saat post ini aku taip...peluk la aku...dakap la diri ku ini.....

Jauh tapi Dekat tapi Jauh...

haa cmne tu...jau tp dekat tp jauh..haha ni story psl kakak aku n aku la...td tym kje mama ada msg ckp kakak ckp da lme xjmp org...xnmpk mke org da comel lote ni...hehe klu kakak bc ni sure dia ckp aku perasan..haha then call la kakak, hampeh nye org, tgh tdo lg...pedulik hape aku, aku kcu gak..haha kakak aku je pn kan..g pn dia xmrh pn aku kcu dia..bersemangat berstory kat aku lg ada la...

ha ni 1 story yg sgt mengelikan perut aku...pg td aku bukak la FB, sj2 la buang ms b4 g kje kan..(yela tmpt kje dlm 10 ke 20 menet je klu nek kte...)jmp la 1 wallpost by my o\the only 1 big brother kat my mom nye wall..haha nak tau xdia taip pe?? happy bestday my mother...hahahaha lawak mmg lawak.bkn sbb dia wish tu..ok la tu dia nak wish gak..tp sbb dia slh tarikh..hahaha birthday mama is on the 12th la my dear big brother...hahaha aku n kakak da tergelak2 je on fon ble ckp psl bnd ni..aku rs klu aku da kat uma lg la meriah aku gelak kan dia..ada anis, adik, aira, kakak, ayah n most importantly ada mama..hehe miss u mom!!

then borak nye borak la ngn kakak, dia tny da bpe lme ea kt xjmp?haa aku pn ligat la pk..rye cina xblk mlk, hurmm ble aku blk uma ea??jrng sgt2..emmm dia ada kat uma, aku kat s.alam..skng ni pn dia kat uma aku kat KL..hurmm laz2 dia yg ingt...nak tau ble laz ktorg jmp? rye thn lpas..hamek kau!! lme gle babeng la...aku pn cm xcye gak la...aku try gak ingt2 blk...tp mmg btl pn aku ngn dia jmp laz ms rye ari tu....rye haji? rs nye emm tah la..memory lost la...msk virus la kot ni..iskh3 trok la..

lme gle xjmp kakak..dia da rnd la tu nak jmp n gdh ngn org..biase la tu, aku ngn dia kdg2 xbpe nak ngam..tah aku pn xtau..tp kakak ngn adik2 yg len sume ok je..tu yg aku heran tu...ooo aku xngam ble dia da msk bab korea, jepon n cina dia..klu english story tu mmg aku lyan la...ala bab tu je yg kami xbpe nak ngam..haaa tp skng ni dia da ley ngam ngn hobi aku..that's it, bc novel..nak kumpul tu blm smpi tahap dia lg kot..tp skng ni ada la dlm 3 4 novel gak dia da li..hehe ni sume pngaruh aku la..bg dia bc nvel2 yg bez2..laz2 dia pn sngkt ngn nvel..haha yes!! da de geng li novel..

kakak, ble la nak lpak ngn dia ni..huhu miss u guys all...rye je kan kt dpt kmpul reramai..tym2 len jgn harap la nak lengkap kt 9 org dlm uma tu...ni 1 lg hal, ble la yg 9 org ni nak lengkap jd 10 org...da berthn rs nye kak D tu tgu abg..nak tlg abg tu mjlis dia pn aku xtau cmne nak tlg..aku pn xkje lg..kdg2 pn paw abg (wlpn slalu xpat). xpe la klu da jodoh xkemana kan abg n kak D..juz wish u stay wif my big brother till end..

Miss my dearest family so much...

rindu bertandang lagi

well 4hb ari tu ulang tahun arwah Farhan pergi..spe dia? dia la org yg paling aku sayang lepas family aku..dia la adik angkat aku...aku da anggap dia cm adik aku sendiri..manja dia ngn aku..nakal tu biasa la, bdk lelaki kan..tapi peribadi dia, sgt la baik..menarik..sopan je..aku sayang dia sgt2..mereka juga, keluarga nya..

4hb ari tu genap la 8 tahun arwah pergi...sekejap je rasa..alih2 da 8 tahun da peristiwa tu berlaku...perkenalan pertama yang tak terduga..menjadi kenalan yang sangat rapat..yang memahami diri ini...kesayangan aku selamanya..

tapi apakan daya, jodoh aku dengan dia xpanjang..Allah lebih sayangkan diri nya..rindu..mmg rindu..tp xley nak wat pe la, sbb aku tau ia akan menyeksa diri nya...apa yang aku ley wat is sedekah kan al-fatihah pada diri nya...

tapi kita ni hanya manusia biasa, rindu itu akan bertandang gak sekali sekala...bilamana ada peristiwa yang mengaitkan diri nya..seperti sekarang ni berhubung dengan adik dia buat aku teringt dia..ahh rindu lg..aku harap dia tenang di sana... di sisi orang2 yang beriman da di sisi Nya..amin..

akak rindu A'an sgt..akak sayang kamu selama nya...

A lil bit of this and a lil bit of that....

blog  ni suppose to be on on the first day of my practical day. but i'm staying at my aunt house so the plug is quite limited. if i want to on9, i can't charge my fons. same goes if i want to charge my fon, i can't on9. so i choose to charge my fon n not on9. n here im. updating my blog early in the morning. bukan apa, tadi sebenar nye da tido, but terjaga. sbb my aunt n my cousins br smpi dari melaka. they all pindah barang dr uma abg kat seri kembangan to kl and some stuff to melaka. emm maybe not some, but a lots. org balik- balik kerja pn tadi tgk rumah OMG! sgt la byk barang n xley nak ddk lepak pn. so i start to remove all the boxes on the dinning table, rearrange a bit of the furniture, sapu-sapu rumah cket. da sudah tu ok lepak bukak tb. nasib bek xyah masak, sebab alang da masak bihun pg td. so org juz panaskan je. ouh lupa apit balik td dia ada ubah cket lagi barang-barang kat dalam uma ni. kata nye ini mengikut permintaan abg. so biar la kejap dia ubah-ubah the furniture. org da xlarat da nak buat pape lg..huhu

ni lagi 1 benda yang xtercapai oleh akal. n agak pelik la. sebab i suddenly missing my pet brother like i really missing him. so what the hell is this? well i choose not to think bout it much, so that i won't be bother by the feeling. or it just that we not that oftenly meet each other that's why i start to miss him. 'hye you bro, dunt think much lar. you r my brother right.' just you know me a lots than my own brother know me. hehe except for my childhood time. haha and of i can, i don't want you to know it. it's kinda embarrassing for people to know how i'm in my childhood. mmg sgt xtercapai dek akal ku. haha tp xpe dia rajin layan adik dia yang sorang ni. da la nakal, pale tah pape je.
so to abg, 'tq so much sebab rajin layan nuha ye. sayang abg lebih dari biasa.' haha ;p (wink n tongue)

well as for this several days, i been feeling like a working women or wife but not a working mother. well how was it? damn tiring. i salute all the working moms and wife out there. you guys did good (just include the moms and wife that cook and tend to take care of their husband and kids so well). but probably i feel extra tired because of my traveling method for and back work. to go, i got abah (tq abah!) to send me half or my journey, but to come back from work, i need to walk from work to home. it's takes about 50 minutes distant. so you make the maths. today i just drag my leg home and finally i'm home. while walking, i got to thinks for many things, such as maybe or if question. erkk not question but conditions. in which the example are, if i juz got license and have a bike, it would safe me the tired for stay up late or do what ever other things that i need to do. emm maybe, if i have a driver, so that i'm not this tired by the night.

this is very2 late of my post..huhu well work, starting to be interesting as my project will be starting to start tomorrow (1st of June). so i'm not that bored lorr. but according to my reading of the method, the procedure will be just around 1 hour latest. so after that i'll be bored to death. as i dun't have any distraction to keep my mind working and awake. if only i got my novel to keep me company all the time. to buy a new 1, i don't have the money. i only left with RM10 in my purse. how to survive? hurmm

it almost 5 o'clock already, so i'am going to clear my desk and getting ready to go home. it's a long way home. but thank God that the weather is just nice for me to walk all the way home. not too hot like yesterday till i got headache. so this latest post is kinda a rep for the long time i've been gone not updating.

Practical oh practical

huhu ari ni da 23hb...sepatut nye aku stat prtkal 10hb ari tu ..tp nak wat cmne ada la hal cket nye kat pihak sane..so aku mula la 23hb..tp surat aku xdpt pn..xbc pape pn lg ni..emm cm kre nye xtau pape la ni..so juz wat xtau je..

skng ni aku xtdo lg..npe??tah la aku xley nak tdo..puas da aku pkse mata ni tuk tdo..tp xnak lelap2 gak..pe la yg ada kat ple ni...klu la ley tau kan senang..

cm mcm2 je yg ada..nervous pn ada gak ni..pe la yg akn happen esk ni..will i b ok??hopefully i'll b ok..hopefully i do well..emm jgn la ngtuk gle babeng t...

n now i'm watching the most stupid story eva.haha n i'm a bit stupid coz tgk cte ni gak..haha same goes to apit..cause he watching it too..ouh n it's really ridiculously stupid n funny..despite this story is bored n what-so-eva, my eyes still didn't want to close yet..it ain't sleepy yet..ouh come on it's 4.39 a.m already..by the time i sleep, i get to wake up again..huhu

i'm kindda bored now... mata oh mata sila la lelap sekarang...nak kata da terbiase tido lmbt, xde la lmbt cmni..mayb travel kot td, tu yg xley nak tdo tu..huhu

ok i'm going to try to sleep again..it's too late already....gud nyte all....